Q: Why did you write Why Do They Act That Way?
A: I’ve worked with teens for more than thirty years as a high school teacher, coach, and psychologist. The groundbreaking research on the teen brain not only explains much of their baffling behavior; it also helps us figure out more effective strategies for raising and teaching our teenagers.

Q: What makes this book so different from other parenting books on teens?
A: This is the first book to translate the new science on the teen brain so everyone can understand it and to describe practical strategies that work in everyday life.

Q: Who would benefit from reading Why Do They Act That Way?
A: Parents, teachers, coaches, counselors, employers….anyone who cares about kids. Yesterday I talked with a police officer who read an advance copy of the book. He told me that every policeman in America needs to know this information. I hadn’t thought of police officers when I wrote the book, but he did make sense. The new brain information about teens has a ton of practical implications for anyone dealing with teens.

Q: Is Why Do They Act That Way? practical?
A: Absolutely. Every chapter has real life examples, practical strategies, tips, sample dialogs, questions and more.

Q: What do you hope the book accomplishes?
A: I want Why Do They Act That Way? to change the way we understand and treat adolescents. There are implications for parenting strategies, sex education, curfews, trying juveniles as adults…even the language we use. For example, why do some of our high schools refer to fifteen-year-olds as “men” and “women?” They’re not. They’re teens, and there is no disrespect in calling them boys and girls.

Q: How is this book going to help me be a better parent for my teenagers?
A: You will get new knowledge about what makes teens tick, a new perspective that will help you not take things personally, new strategies and tactics that work in tough situations, and hope and inspiration to keep you going.

Q: Are we doing a good job with our teenagers in this country?
A: We can do a lot better. Only forty seven percent of American teens think that adults like and respect them. That’s a sad commentary on how we adults are doing. I hope that Why Do They Act That Way? will change that. Once we have a better understanding of what’s going on inside their heads, we’ll get better at figuring out what they need

Q: So what do teenagers need?
A: There are hundreds of answers to that question in this book, but they all fall under three major headings. Adolescents need connection, guidance and love. Too many kids are not getting enough of those three essential ingredients. Why Do They Act That Way? gives real life examples. I coach parents how to talk to teens about relationships, sex, drugs, and other important issues.

Some questions that WHY DO THEY ACT THAT WAY? addresses…

Q: My fourteen-year-old son used to be so easygoing. Now he flies off the handle over nothing. What’s going on?
A: Your son’s brain is going through big changes. The anger circuits are red hot and the brain’s supervisor that keeps the lid on is being rewired.

Q: My sixteen-year old daughter’s mood can change on a dime. Should I be worried?
A: Moodiness and sudden mood changes are normal and make a lot of sense when we learn what is going on in their brains. No doubt, the changes are as confusing to her as they are to you. You need to be supportive of your daughter but avoid getting on the emotional roller coaster with her.

Q: Why do teens like to argue about everything?
A: Teen arguing is part biological and part psychological. Their brain is causing them to be testy and at the same time they are striking out for independence. Here are some tips for managing teen anger and arguing. 1. Don’t be surprised when your teenager gets surly. It’s their brain. 2. Don’t harass your teen about every little thing. Pick and choose issues that matter. 3. Don’t get dragged into power struggles. Calmly state your expectations and consequences and let your teen know that you expect him to comply but that if he chooses not to, then he will have to accept the consequences. 4. Don’t make consequences into threats. 5. Don’t let your emotions get out of control when your son or daughter starts yelling. Take a deep breath and count to ten. Take a break if you need to. 6. Don’t let your teenager get his or her way by yelling and threatening or by other objectionable behavior.

Q: My two teenagers sleep until one or two o’clock on weekends. Is there something wrong?
A: The teen brain’s sleep-wake cycle makes a major shift in adolescence. Your kids are probably like the millions of other American teens who are sleep deprived. On the weekends their brains are trying to make up the thirty percent shortage they have to deal with during the week.

Q: Why do we have the highest rates of teen pregnancy and STDs in the industrialized world?
A: Our teens are sexually active and we’re not talking to them about it. So they get their direction from hyper-sexed TV programs and music videos. It doesn’t help that national leaders have bought into the misguided notion that information will promote sexual promiscuity. For example, US Senators have spoken on the Senate floor against funding for sex education. Here’s a news flash for senators and parents alike. When we learn what is going on inside the teen brain, we realize that they already have sex on the mind. It doesn’t make any difference where they come from, what beliefs they have or how they were raised: the adolescent brain is interested in sex. Talking about it will not make them interested. They are already interested. So who’s going to talk to them about values, relationships, and morality: us or TV?

Q: My teenage son doesn’t ever want to do anything with the family anymore. What should I do?
A: It is normal for teenagers to ask for a divorce from the family. Parents make a big mistake, however, if they grant it. It’s not easy to stay connected with our teens when they don’t talk much and say they don’t want to be with us. There are ways to do that, however, and the investment that we make in staying connected pays huge dividends. I provide lots of concrete suggestions for in Why Do They Act That Way?