Speaking with a
teacher recently, I heard a disheartening story. She was
walking to her classroom when she saw a boy running down
the hall toward her. As the twelve-year-old approached,
she reminded him that he should walk in the hallway. What
she received in return was neither compliance nor an apology.
Instead, he launched into a barrage of profanity. This teacher
didn't tell me the exact terms he used, but she did say
how discouraging it was to hear his words. "Sometimes
it feels like, instead of teaching, I'm all alone swimming
against a riptide of disrespect."
I've heard this same story dozens of times in one form or
another. Adults, especially teachers, witness kids adopting
R-rated language, rude attitudes, and less than subtle threats
on an alarmingly regular basis. A new study by the research
group Public Agenda shows just how prevalent this problem
is in our schools. The study, which surveyed hundreds of
parents and teachers of middle and high school students,
found that over seventy percent of teachers and parents
thought that educational quality suffers because of troublemakers.
Encouragingly, the study found that schools do a good job
or addressing major problems like drugs and weapons. The
sad finding, however, was that talking out and disrespect
are epidemic. And when teachers intervene they risk being
undercut by parents. The report found that educators operate
in a "culture of challenge and second-guessing."
Half of the teachers surveyed said they have been accused
of unnecessarily disciplining a student.
Based on what I've seen, I think telling teachers to get
better at fostering an atmosphere of respect is a classic
case of easier said than done. That's because teachers aren't
just dealing with a few unruly kids; they're contending
with what I call a culture of disrespect.
The culture of disrespect is fostered, at least in part,
by the media. Whoever tells the stories defines the culture.
Think for a moment about the lessons our kids are learning
about respect from professional wrestling or MTV's Punk'd
(to name two of the scores of programs I could cite). Humiliation
and aggression are served up as entertainment on TV, in
video games, and in the movies. A young wrestling fan may
not hit his classmate with a chair, but too many kids put
each other down, call each other names and swear at teachers
who ask them not to run in the hallway.
Here are three things we can all do to restore civility
in our schools. First, make TV programs, movies and video
games that glorify disrespect out of bounds. Second, institute
a zero tolerance policy in your family when it comes to
foul or disrespectful language. Third, support teachers
and principals when they take action to restore a climate
of civility in school.
David Walsh, Ph.D. is the founder of the
MediaWise Movement, a program of the National Institute
on Media and the Family (www.mediafamily.org).
His next book, Why Do They Act That Way? A Survival Guide
to the Adolescent Brain for You and Your Teen will be
released this summer.
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