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No

Not too long ago, I was at a grocery store, standing in line behind a man and his young son. As we all got closer to the register, the boy, who appeared to be about three years old, found himself staring at a row of candy bars. A moment later, he had one in his little hand.

"Daddy, can I have one?"

"No, not now, Cody. We're going to have dinner as soon as we get home." I detected a look of dread pass across the man's face like a shadow, and I soon discovered why.

The father's "No" was Cody's cue to begin what seemed to be a well-rehearsed routine. Since his straightforward question had not succeeded, the young boy shifted into phase two: pleading and whining. Stage three was crying and screaming. For a little while Cody's father managed to hang tough, but his kid knew too well how to turn no into yes.

Long story short, the little tyrant left with three candy bars. His dad left muttering and beaten. Little Cody learned an important lesson: good things come to those who ignore the word no.

That's a lesson too many kids seem to have learned. More and more, I see a new generation with the high expectation that good things will quickly come their way. So who is teaching our kids that life will serve them whatever they want on a silver platter?

For years, I have said whoever tells the stories defines the culture. For kids today, the dominant storytellers have become the TV, video games, and computer screens. Today's kids dance to a media drumbeat of messages saying "MORE, EASY, FAST, and FUN." The result: a new epidemic engulfing our kids. I call it "DDD" or "Discipline Deficit Disorder." The symptoms include disrespect, impatience, a need for instant gratification, inflated expectations, a sense of entitlement, and out-of-control consumerism.

If left untreated, DDD will yield spiritually and psychologically flabby kids. That's because self-discipline is such a key factor in future success. Research shows that self-discipline is twice as strong a predictor of school success as is intelligence. That means unless we rebuild this crucial trait in our children they will be ill equipped to compete in the global marketplace.

In my new book, No: Why Kids - of All Ages - Need to Hear It and Ways Parents Can Say It, I explain how families can learn to say no to the harmful effects of the media and yes to a promising, healthy future. No isn't just a word. It's a strategy. By saying No when we need to, we help children learn the skills of self-discipline.

Just think how well little Cody could grow up with some serious self-discipline. He already has the persistence and the desire for success. Now he just needs to learn that the best things come to those who learn how to do without.

David Walsh, Ph.D. is the founder of the MediaWise Movement, a program of the National Institute on Media and the Family (www.mediawise.org). His latest book, No: Why Kids - of All Ages - Need to Hear It and Ways Parents Can Say It (Free Press) is available in bookstores.