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Violence in the Media

Music to Their Ears But Not to Yours

When talking with parents I am often asked about the effect of music on kids. Usually parents want to know if they should be concerned about the references to violence, sex, and drugs in the lyrics of popular music. The fear many parents have is that the crude messages in the music will rub off on their kids.

Music has been a battleground between parents and kids for generations. New styles of music often involve musical and lyrical innovations that push past the boundaries of what was previously normal and acceptable. Sometimes new types of music are appealing to young people specifically because they shock the tastes of their parents. For many kids, especially during adolescence, music seems to be a way to define tastes distinct from their parents while finding common ground with peers.

Any parent knows that disagreements about pop music can affect the mood at the dinner table, but what do we know about the psychological ramifications of this entertainment? One chapter in a new book edited by my colleague Douglas Gentile, Media Violence and Children, highlights the research of Donald Roberts and others who study the impact of music on kids. Scientific findings show music may not be as much the culprit as many parents suppose.

Although research shows that the average kid spends as much time, if not more, listening to music (from a radio, CD player, etc.) than he does watching TV, music does not have nearly the impact on behavior and attitudes that visual media do. Perhaps this is because kids often use music as a background medium while engaging in other activities. Whatever the case, extreme lyrics seem to significantly affect only children who are already angry, depressed or suffering from other important risk factors.

All of this is not to say that parents should let their children listen to whatever they want whenever they want. Here are some suggestions for trying to keep music from becoming a divisive issue in your family:

1. Avoid making music a battleground.
   
2. Be realistic. You might want to forbid your kids from listening to music you find offensive, but you cannot realistically stop your kids from hearing songs on the radio or listening to CDs with friends.
   
3. At the same time, be clear about what you will and will not tolerate in your home.
   
4. Stick to value based reasons for your objections rather than sweeping labels. Instead of calling some music "trash" say you don't want to hear certain music because "it objectifies women" or "glorifies violence."
   
5. Let your child know that you realize that you can't stop her from listening to such music, but the rest of the family does not want to hear it.
   The whole family doesn't have to sing to the same tune all the time, but if you take a sensible approach to letting your kids have musical independence, you will be more likely to have family harmony.

David Walsh, Ph.D. is the founder of the MediaWise Movement, a program of the National Institute on Media and the Family (www.mediafamily.org). His next book, Why Do They Act That Way? A Survival Guide to the Adolescent Brain for You and Your Teen will be released this summer.