When talking with
parents I am often asked about the effect of music on kids.
Usually parents want to know if they should be concerned
about the references to violence, sex, and drugs in the
lyrics of popular music. The fear many parents have is that
the crude messages in the music will rub off on their kids.
Music has been a battleground between parents and kids for
generations. New styles of music often involve musical and
lyrical innovations that push past the boundaries of what
was previously normal and acceptable. Sometimes new types
of music are appealing to young people specifically because
they shock the tastes of their parents. For many kids, especially
during adolescence, music seems to be a way to define tastes
distinct from their parents while finding common ground
with peers.
Any parent knows that disagreements about pop music can
affect the mood at the dinner table, but what do we know
about the psychological ramifications of this entertainment?
One chapter in a new book edited by my colleague Douglas
Gentile, Media Violence and Children, highlights
the research of Donald Roberts and others who study the
impact of music on kids. Scientific findings show music
may not be as much the culprit as many parents suppose.
Although research shows that the average kid spends as much
time, if not more, listening to music (from a radio, CD
player, etc.) than he does watching TV, music does not have
nearly the impact on behavior and attitudes that visual
media do. Perhaps this is because kids often use music as
a background medium while engaging in other activities.
Whatever the case, extreme lyrics seem to significantly
affect only children who are already angry, depressed or
suffering from other important risk factors.
All of this is not to say that parents should let their
children listen to whatever they want whenever they want.
Here are some suggestions for trying to keep music from
becoming a divisive issue in your family:
Avoid making music a battleground.
Be realistic. You might want to forbid your kids from
listening to music you find offensive, but you cannot
realistically stop your kids from hearing songs on the
radio or listening to CDs with friends.
At the same time, be clear about what you will and will
not tolerate in your home.
Stick to value based reasons for your objections rather
than sweeping labels. Instead of calling some music "trash"
say you don't want to hear certain music because "it
objectifies women" or "glorifies violence."
Let your child know that you realize that you can't
stop her from listening to such music, but the rest of
the family does not want to hear it.
The whole family doesn't have to sing to the same tune
all the time, but if you take a sensible approach to letting
your kids have musical independence, you will be more
likely to have family harmony.
David Walsh, Ph.D. is the founder of the
MediaWise Movement, a program of the National Institute
on Media and the Family (www.mediafamily.org).
His next book, Why Do They Act That Way? A Survival Guide
to the Adolescent Brain for You and Your Teen will be
released this summer.
