In the past I've
warned families about some dangers that online communities
like MySpace and Facebook can pose for young people. Part
of the problem with such sites is that kids feel pressure
to be more outrageous, more mature, and more profane than
they would in real life. I've heard of several incidents
involving kids who brag that they use lots of drug and have
lots of sex - but when parents confront these kids, their
claims turn out to be a lot of hot air. The kids explain
their behavior by saying less-than-honest posing is just
what people do on the Internet. In other words, it's what
I've said for years: our kids are growing up in a culture
that encourages kids to push the extremes of their normal
behavior to make an impression. As I see it, this media-fueled
culture of outrageousness and disrespect is one of the most
critical issues for families today.
In recent years, I have also focused on the latest findings
from scientists who study the development of young people's
brains. We now know brain development lasts much later into
life than was previously thought. This discovery has huge
implications for the impact of media on young people. I
think this issue is just as critical for families: the media
are literally shaping our kids' brains.
You might already see these issues overlapping, but it turns
out they are more connected than anyone suspected. Reading
an excellent article in the New York Times about rude emails,
I began to understand a little better why those kids on
Facebook were so intent on pushing the envelope. According
to the author, Daniel Goleman, new research at the University
of California, Davis has shown that people act differently
when sending an email or a text message than they do in
person. And their brains act differently too.
When we're face-to-face with people a part of our brain
called the orbitofrontal cortex constantly reassesses "emotional
signs and social cues" that help us interact appropriately.
But when we're looking at words on screens instead of real,
moving faces, we don't get the benefit of our orbitofrontal
cortex and we act, according to the scientists, a little
bit like someone with brain damage. That's because the orbitofrontal
cortex helps to control the amygdala, a part of the brain
associated with impulsive behavior and commonly referred
to as the "anger center."
What does all that scientific information mean? Well, it
explains why cyberbullying, email flaming (sending mean
messages), and poseur profiles have become so common. Especially
in a social situation, we need the tiny clues others' facial
expressions give us in order to be civil and appropriate.
What should we do? We need to teach our children appropriate
behavior is the same on or offline. Every year, kids interact
online and over cell phones earlier and earlier in life.
It's never too early to talk to our kids about the importance
of honesty and civility.
David Walsh, Ph.D. is the founder of the
MediaWise Movement, a program of the National Institute
on Media and the Family (www.mediawise.org).
His latest book, No: Why Kids - of All Ages - Need to
Hear It and Ways Parents Can Say It (Free Press) is
available in bookstores.
