Some days I feel
like I can't remember what it was like before I had a cell
phone, e-mail, and use of the Internet. I get annoyed when
someone's phone rings in restaurants and movie theaters,
but like most people I think the trouble the new technologies
cause is worth the convenience they give us.
As you have read here before, however, there can be a downside
to good technology. Here's an example. Some kids are using
the latest communications technologies to bully their peers.
I've heard horror stories firsthand from parents, teachers
and kids about cyberbullies. Cyberbullying means pretty
much what it sounds like it means. Cyberbullies are kids
who act just like bullies from past generations. They pick
on other kids, trying to humiliate and intimidate them.
But instead of waiting around by the door after school,
cyberbullies do their damage via emails, instant messages
and cell phone text messages from a remote location.
Cyberbullying can mean sending derogatory insults or threats
in messages, often many, many of them. Sometimes it entails
circulating humiliating information or pictures of a kid
among peers. Sometimes it involves demeaning postings on
web sites.
In many ways this is the same problem kids have had to put
up with for years. But in other ways, cyberbullying is a
new kind of problem. Unlike the bullies of yesteryear, cyberbullies
can get to their prey right in their own bedrooms if they
have a computer equipped with an instant messenger program.
If the objects of their scorn have cell phones they can
get to them wherever they are via text messages. For the
victims of cyberbullies this access to the most private
spaces and moments can be quite traumatizing. They can feel
that there is no escape from their torturous social lives,
or worse yet, never safe from threatened harm. In addition,
a cyberbully's damage can spread far and wide at the speed
of light.
Another way cyberbullying differs from the old-fashioned
kind is the ease with which it is conducted by the bullies
themselves. Several reports I've seen and heard suggest
that the distance created by technology makes the act of
bullying much easier to perform. Rather than threatening
a kid to his face, cyberbullies can simply type the message
and hit send without seeing the all too real look on the
face of the kid who receives it.
We need to take cyberbullying just as seriously as the real
world kind. Here's what we should do:
1. Make sure our kids know the importance of proper electronic
etiquette.
2. Make sure our kids know that there is zero tolerance
for electronic bullying.
3. Make sure our kids know that if they are victims that
they should tell adults right away.
4. Make sure our kids know that if they act like cyberbullies,
the punishment will be swift and sure.
David Walsh, Ph.D. is the founder of the
MediaWise Movement, a program of the National Institute
on Media and the Family (www.mediafamily.org).
His latest book, Why Do They Act That Way? A Survival
Guide to the Adolescent Brain for You and Your Teen
is available at all major booksellers.
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